Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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