Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize