I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
