i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I could fuck to npr.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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