come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
