Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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