yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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