she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
