theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
