her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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