are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
