it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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