god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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