Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you win again, gameday.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
