I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
