What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
