Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
