Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize