She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
