I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm really busy with my period
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