Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize