Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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