Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I enjoy the company of your penis
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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