high people should be assigned attendants
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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