gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dick very happy bro
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
