Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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