This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
