somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
