:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
