you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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