I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
