dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
