And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
