there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
