so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize