Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
