Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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