Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
