Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
