i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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