He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
