Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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