She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
