good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize