I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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