Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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