It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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