I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
