a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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