Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
