don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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