At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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