Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize