Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
