dude i'm inner monologue high
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
