sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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