I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
