We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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