So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
