i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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