i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she smelled like a LAN party
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
