are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
