All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
