Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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