You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
