She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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