Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
