Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
